Glasses

Let's get down to business. The 1993’s are back and better, harder, faster, faster, harder, YES!! Ahem, the 1993s are back and better than ever. Demand Respect and Authority™. In the courtroom. In the bedroom. In the bathroom. In your mugshot. In, the FUTURE. Now with an ANSI Z87+ safety rating, roomier fit, and redesigned ear and nose pieces. It’s like we made an elastic waistband for your face.

Let's get down to business. Nights aren't for sleeping. Not for you, they're not. They're for working hard, partying harder, and pushing your eyeballs into the most dangerous situations 'till the sun comes up. Good thing these night shades are gonna be with you every step of the way. It's a Night Shade 2000! These bad boys feature a clear polycarbonate lens, ANSI Z87+ Safety Rating, roomier fit, and redesigned ear, nose, and turbo adjustment areas.

Let's get down to business. Is that the pizza? Nah, just life, liberty, & the pursuit of happiness. Freedom rings again with the Merika Pit Viper 2000s. Side effects may include increased lite beer consumption, unprecedented barbecue knowledge, and calling everybody “brother." Now with an ANSI Z87+ safety rating, roomier fit, and redesigned ear and nose pieces. Ben Franklin would be proud.

Let's get down to business. Is that the pizza man at the door? Nah, just life, liberty, & the pursuit of happiness. Freedom rings again with the Merika Polarized 2000s. Side effects may include increased lite beer consumption, unprecedented barbecue knowledge, and calling everybody “brother." Now POLARIZED! REMINDER: Polarized 2000s are NOT ANSI Z87+ rated.

Let's get down to business. This Playmate won't keep your drinks cold but it'll sure as hell make you look cool. Meet the vibrant macaw of the sunglass world. They whisper and/or caw loudly in your ear: "PLAYMATE WANT TO PARTY." Listen to them. It's a 2000! These bad boys feature an ANSI Z87+ Safety Rating, roomier fit, and redesigned ear, nose, and turbo adjustment areas.

Let's get down to business. Samantha from third period said her cousin’s older brother told her if you light a candle, prepare an apple pie from scratch, and say “Hail Sagan” three times in the bathroom mirror, the man himself appears to tell you that we are all made of space stuff. “These shades slap” - Carl Sagan, probably. Now with an ANSI Z87+ safety rating, roomier fit, and redesigned ear and nose pieces. Built to accompany you on all your astronomical journeys.

Let's get down to business. These checkered flag Intimidators are hands down ass up the fastest shades we’ve ever made. If Dale Earnhardt, Sonic the Hedgehog, Usain Bolt, and a cheetah had an orgy, and by some miracle act of God had a baby, it still wouldn’t be as fast as the Victory Lane Intimidators.